Thursday 19 November 2015

Think I have a problem

I have always enjoyed owning over experiencing which from my experience of the world, tends to be a working class thing, but I have yet to go on holiday to any life affirming places, so when I return from short breaks I usually lament on how much money was spent. But I have just purchased my 4th novelty print skirt, the combined cost with customs fee a trip to New York, psychological I know this is a response to going from finally an okay salary to 'im classed as impoverished'in order to study and this is 1st year, only 1 semester of 3 years, so money has never mattered so much, but yet I have more savings now, then I ever did full time working and debt free for now, so perhaps thats why I am having so much difficulty with control. n can you please get with the new program? A few of the vintage items due to hit ebay from now until 22nd November essex_lolly update... who knew it would be so hard to sale actual vintage pre 60s, I guess modern people only will buy if someone famous is wearing it, so selling my corset was fine.

Monday 9 November 2015

A funny thing happened- The Deadbeat

Have you ever been at the point where life got super sweet again? Dating, holidaying, buying the things you wanted and then something from the past reappears? Will I had that, while deadbeat Dan is far away, the last girlfriend tried to make contact with me. Trying to be the good female, I did warn her and her family, I even gave her a warning that he will use it for all you can give, get you pregnant and move on to the next one. Which was exactly what happened, at first I was annoyed she wanted my forgiveness, she wanted to be told she was a poor victim, unfortunately I told her the truth, men like him can only do this to you if you allow it. I'm infertile is the old age trick a guy says to get out of using protection. It was her choice to not use protection. She was still holding onto the idea that it was love, bearing in mind he moved from me straight to her family accommodation, he wasn't kicked out and been secretly dating her for 3 months, enough time to save for a deposit. He pretended he was infertile and I even told her, for a fact that was a disgusting lie, way before she got pregnant. Of course this made me angry how dare she come and say poor me. She didn't lose her home from this, she wasn't made out of pocket and had to work near to exhaustion and she didn't lose 2 years of her life trying to change her life. She was a student, looked after by her parents with cute pictures of her baby on Facebook, gushing messages about how she always wanted to a young mum and I contrast that with a women I knew the same age as my ex, 30yr who was left holding the baby, who had to go to a shelter as her job didn't pay enough for baby and her family thought her too grown up to go home again. And I replied back, you didn't want to know and you wanted your baby you have no reason to be unhappy or to ask for my forgiveness, he only gave you what you want, you ignored your gut, ignored your friends and family you wanted the fantasy as I did too. People do bad things to us because we often let them.

1950s Saul Steinberg skirt

Wow novelty print skirts are now ridiculously priced and it has become hugely competitive to get a good one at a price that isnt the equilvent to be held at hostage. You may think that statement is a tad of an over statement, but I started vintage shopping when items where as cheap as getting a skirt at Topshop and Im not that old, vintage was meant to be fun, now it seems more of an investment, to get value of this no more shopping for the next year okay. Im not going to lie, realistically it is not worth the money as I have other novelty skirts in almost perfect condition, but it is sure cool and I have yet to see this in any of the vintage shops I have ever visited, so new to me and maybe to you.

Thursday 29 October 2015

I didn't die I just became more fabulous

When I was younger I did reimagine my life if I had been born male. You see my mum always wanted a boy and made out that the fact I was female was a great inconvenience. And as I got older it does seem they get the better end of the deal oof life in all things,they are babied alot longer, their mistakes are easily papered over but if us females make a mistake, why it's always we should have known better, and don't get me started with caring for the kids, longer after the man has left. But I don't know any guy who has slogged as much as I have and picked themselves back up and up again without running back home and financed their own second chances (now at uni). You think my mum would be proud? No, she hopes I havnt made a big mistake, other females are often our enemies. Well at least I have these Sun Slatz glasses to wear, while I battle on.

Monday 13 July 2015

We are truely only alive, when we have almost died

They say time is a healer, but I don't think that's strictly true, I think its more of a case that you accept what's happened, that its forever changed you, that it has forever changed the way you see people. And for a long time I did dislike people, I disliked the people who apparently had foresight for what was to come but were not a good enough friend to ever voice it. I disliked guys who didn't accept that they had treated their girlfriends meanly before finally moving on to the next ones and more importantly I disliked my own family for being estranged from one another so that I couldn't recognize what real and healthy relationships were. Last week I was asked for forgiveness from a person who didn't want to know the truth, they were no friend to me but I decided to give them the truth so that they may understand it when it happens to them. Now they know the truth but they only really wanted my sympathy for an event they caused and truly wanted to happen, I think I dislike these types of people the most, the people who don't really want to see, because I was once one of them.

GoodBye

Goodbye online diary, you were my source of hope, and a record of the struggles I seem to be born to keep enduring. Part inflicted by myself...